I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
