porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize