I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
