What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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