Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
