Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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