it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
