im drinking this country out of the recession.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
