You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
