Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here