i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house