Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
i think im in europe. pls send help
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
