He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
