I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring money and cleavage
17 year olds will be the death of me.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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