Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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