WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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