i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
