no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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