wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
