We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
