you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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