Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
it was like eating out sand paper
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
