Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
