Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
