Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Rumble strips road head = magical
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
