also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
is wine microwaveable?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
