Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
My ass is underappreciated
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
