i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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