A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
