Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize