So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
