what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
