I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
