yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
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i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
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He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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