Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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