i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
