did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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