What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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