what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I love how my cats smell like pot.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
