I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
