My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
