So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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