alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
