i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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