Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
