jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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