Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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