Dual....:-)
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I am available for nakedness
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
