My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
