how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
