It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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