dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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