My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
