Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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