She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Randomize