Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
