i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
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Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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