So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
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Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
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How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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