around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
