I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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