While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
