They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
It's never too late to be topless.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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