I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
be right there i have to get my cape
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
